it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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