Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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