i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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