I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
