My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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