Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
