Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
