is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
