plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
