I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
