It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
