If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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