If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sorry about my life...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
