singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
