He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
