I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
