I hate your face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
