Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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