That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
