Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
