Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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