the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
