Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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