I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
