i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
