my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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