I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
