Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
