I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
