Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
