drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm bleeding and have questions
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
