Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can Purell be used as lube?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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