Your mouth is God's brothel.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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