Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
