Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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