I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
