I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
