you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
