The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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