i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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