I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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