Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
