I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
