I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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