he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
