yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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