if i died would you start the facebook group?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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