i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
