Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
