The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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