I hate your face
This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
