what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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