How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
