the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
