why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
