Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Are we still banned from the library?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
