Midget sex pt 2 tonight
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
