but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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