Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize