I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
