He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
