I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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