I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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