ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
